Why do I bother trying to arrange anything?

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Why do I bother trying to arrange anything?

Post by Sarah on Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:31 pm

I don't often post in this section, but I'm feeling really sorry for myself today!

I was supposed to be going to see a west end show with my mum. Luckily, she lined up a 'reserve' in case I couldn't make it. My head was really starting to throb as I went to bed, so I took a Frovatriptan. I woke up feeling even worse, and I can't go.

The worst thing about it all is that it makes me so negative. If I even arrange anything at all, I worry about how I will be able to cope with a migraine, and worry about letting others down. It almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. I wish I could adopt a mind over matter approach that I would feel well, and then wouldn't feel too disappointed if I didn't.

I don't know what I'm waffling on about really, but I'm sure you can all relate!
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Re: Why do I bother trying to arrange anything?

Post by Laura on Fri Feb 08, 2013 7:05 am

I understand what you are going on about. And it is a problem. People point out that migraine doesn't kill you (generally). And that's true, but who wants to lead a life of continuous struggle and/or a life spent in a dark, cold room alone. Life can be taken from you in more than one way.

I hate making plans and then backing out. I don't like disappointing others. And I worry that if I cancel too often, people will stop asking me to go places or do things with them. I would like to try to date again sometime. But I'm afraid that if I do, I'll end up canceling on the guy too much. So, I stay home with my kitties on the couch.

People probably wonder why I wait to the last minute to ask them to do something with me. Well - it is because I never know until I get to that minute whether or not I'll feel up to it.
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Re: Why do I bother trying to arrange anything?

Post by pīwakawaka on Fri Feb 08, 2013 5:34 pm

I've stopped making plans for social events. If I feel fine a few hours before an event I'll go. Otherwise, it's a case a making the best I can out of a few hours at home.


I accept invitations when I receive them, but usually end giving a apology 6 or 7 times out of 10. Some people are understanding. Others seem to drop you off the list after a few cancellations.


We seldem hold social events at home, simply because there's a very high chance that I won't be well enough on the day. We do invite others on the spur of the moment and get a reasonable number of acceptances.


All the above doesn't go down too well with my wife as she like to plan everything down to the last detail. "Spur of the moment" wasn't in her vocabulary for a long time, but she has now come to accept that it has to be a part of our life.

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Re: Why do I bother trying to arrange anything?

Post by Sarah on Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:44 pm

I am sitting here nodding my head at all of this!

Luckily, my husband doesn't mind too much doing things at the spur of the moment, or only having very loose plans. It's when things have to be booked up in advance that there is a problem. And obviously planned meeting up with friends.
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Re: Why do I bother trying to arrange anything?

Post by FHMinGREERSC on Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:35 am

I feel like half my life is spent from my cave appologizing for things I can not control. I have a good group of family and friends, but in the end it's me a frozen gel mask and a phone texting my "i'm sorry I can't make it again".

Then they keep asking if I'm depressed. I'm not staying home because I'm sad. I just don't feel like going out on a sunny day to a crowed mall or loud store to just have to leave early again. On the rare occassion that I am not supernova head, let me enjoy a quiet afternoon reading a book when the words aren't coming to ripe out my eyeballs. I don't have to say the words I'm sorry to anyone.
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Re: Why do I bother trying to arrange anything?

Post by Laura on Wed Feb 13, 2013 11:54 am

Today is Mardi Gras. A day off of work. I accepted an invitation to an open house. Red beans and rice, near the parade route, opportunity to meet new people. But I spent the day in pain on the sofa. I've turned down invitations from this woman too many times now. I have to call and apologize.
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Re: Why do I bother trying to arrange anything?

Post by Sarah on Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:45 pm

Yesterday I was due to meet a friend, and she cancelled due to being sick. I've got to say, it was a great feeling not being the one who cancelled, for once!
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Re: Why do I bother trying to arrange anything?

Post by Laura on Thu Feb 14, 2013 1:11 am

Sarah - Thanks for sharing. Made me smile. :) I can understand how that must have been a great experience. And I'm sure you may have been disappointed but could also understand. One thing for sure - migraine makes me more appreciative of other people's health problems, especially chronic conditions.
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