So now I'm single :-(

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So now I'm single :-(

Post by want~hope on Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:18 am

A couple of weeks ago my partner of 7 years and father to our 4 year old daughter has decided to leave me because of my condition. I have just been turned down by the PCT for funding for my ONS op, great hey. He has told me he just can't handle seeing me in pain any more and cant handle the worry. I think he is in the middle of a break down because I've never seen him so emotional, ever.
But wait there is more. For months now he has been trying to push me away and wouldn't tell me why, even when I asked him. Turns out he tried to get away from all his problems by cheating on me with a 19 yr old!!
He has admitted every thing to me and we are staying friends mainly because of our daughter and the fact that I still love him. He wants time away (apart from coming round to see our daughter) to try and get his head straight and I'm not sure if he even wants to come back cause its early days. I'm not even sure if could take him back.
So right now I am in immense pain not only in my head but also in my heart Crying or Very sad

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Re: So now I'm single :-(

Post by Dr Pav Khaira on Fri Jan 20, 2012 10:11 pm

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that! Feel free to vent anytime!

I know this doesn't help you now but I want you to know it's very common for migraines to pressure on relationships.

I hope things start looking up for you soon Smile
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Re: So now I'm single :-(

Post by Tee on Fri Jan 20, 2012 10:55 pm

Oh sweetie - big big big hugs Hug

This damn illness causes so much stress on everyone - hang in there xx

As for the PCT - do appeal

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Re: So now I'm single :-(

Post by Sarah on Sat Jan 21, 2012 12:02 am

I'm so sorry. I can't even think of what to say, as words seem inadequate.

I do agree that migraines cause a massive strain on a relationship (I'm sure my other half would agree).

Best of luck with an appeal, if you choose to go down that route, and please keep us updated. xxx
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Re: So now I'm single :-(

Post by want~hope on Sat Jan 21, 2012 12:08 am

I will definatly be appealing to the PCT. More than ever now I am desperate for this op.
xx

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Re: So now I'm single :-(

Post by Sarah on Sat Jan 21, 2012 12:13 am

Good for you. It might give you something to focus on too.

Have you considered relationship counselling at all?
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Re: So now I'm single :-(

Post by want~hope on Sat Jan 21, 2012 12:27 am

I would like us to go to counselling or see if there is some sort of help for him so he can deal with things better. The only problem is he is stuborn and I mean really stuborn. It took me and one of his very large strong friends to put his knee joint back in place when he dislocated it beacause he refuses to go any where near a doctors let a lone a hospital. I was hoping that there may be some sort of carers group or something similar in Norwich where partners who care could meet up, but I'm having no luck in finding anything. Plus if he refuses to help him self what more can I do. I am being understanding to him at the mo because I have recently looked at what carers go through and it is no way an easy ride for them.

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Re: So now I'm single :-(

Post by Sarah on Sat Jan 21, 2012 12:34 am

I can imagine... at the risk of a huge gender stereotype, men aren't usually keen on accepting that sort of help, are they? Sad Still, I can't help but think that it's up to him to try to make things work if he has cheated though...
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Re: So now I'm single :-(

Post by want~hope on Sat Jan 21, 2012 12:58 am

I understand what you are saying. We have never argued or shouted at each other or anything like that. I do honestly believe that he was going through so much do deal with he just lost the plot for a while. With help I would be willing to over come what he did and I am willing to do anything to keep a family together. My little girl isn't sleeping and is taking this all really bad and it is heart breaking to see her how she is. We are on speaking terms and he is coming over to see her when he can because he works 2 jobs.
I'm not saying things would happen over night I know it will take alot of time and effort on both halfs. The ultimate choice is his tho and if he does want to come back and get some sort of help then I would like to know that I would be able to help him.

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Re: So now I'm single :-(

Post by Tee on Sat Jan 21, 2012 4:53 am

Its so sad this - I have seen it before and to be honest each case is different - men seem to stick heads in sand for a while and either manage to come back up for air or sink fast.......... Sad

These people maybe able to help you find a support group - http://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice

xxx


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