You don't look ill?!

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You don't look ill?!

Post by Tee on Mon Apr 18, 2011 6:50 am

No, I don't. It's hard to explain to someone when they have no clue. It's a daily struggle feeling ill on the inside while you look fine on the outside. Migraine is an invisible illness.

How do you find others treat you? How do you explain migraine is not just a headache?
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Re: You don't look ill?!

Post by whitzendJane on Tue Apr 19, 2011 5:39 am

Bit different for me T as most people think I am drunk. Wonky face and slurred speak make e look like I have had a heavy night on the ale.

Even now members of the family will still say 'what's wrong with your eye?' I have had Horner's syndrome for 4 1/2 years and I still get stupid remarks about how I look. I completelyfries me sweded..and my sweded it's pretty fried most days Shocked
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Re: You don't look ill?!

Post by Whatsername on Tue Nov 29, 2011 7:15 am

I usually get the "Oh you will be alright" if I say I have a migraine or a headache when people ask then when I tell them it's a daily thing they don't really get it. They just talk about going to the Doctor etc so it's easier not to say anything.

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Re: You don't look ill?!

Post by Broadhoj on Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:08 am

I get the raised eyebrow and and slightly incredulous look every time I have a 'back to work' meeting. We have to have one every time we're off ill and it's just degrading. The head of my school doesn't seem to get the fact that if I'm off it's because I am unable to stand upright or speak coherently - a problem as a teacher! There are many more times that I do go into work despite having a migraine and there are 1 or 2 people who can actually recognise the signs - wonky eye and face, dark glasses and looking like an extra from a living dead movie but others just think I'm weird.

Funnily enough the kids are the best at picking up on when I'm not 100% and are very considerate.

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Re: You don't look ill?!

Post by Laura on Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:24 pm

I've had conversations about my migraines with several people in the office. I keep the lights out in my office so much, people started asking questions. I've explained that it is a neurological disorder that causes a headache that feels like someone is stabbing me through my left eye, as well as light sensitivity, gastrointestinal problems and extreme weakness and fatigue. I will differentiate between a milder migraine that only causes head pain and a "whole body" migraine that includes the other symptoms. I've also had to announce at a staff meeting that artificial fragrance is a trigger for me. Some people still didn't get it, but one day a couple or three weeks ago I had to take sick leave when someone walked into my office wearing perfume. Seems the word is getting around now. Now I get warnings from people if they are wearing fragrance and they will avoid entering my office. I have found most of the people at work have been pretty understanding about the pain - though making them understand that one whiff of cologne is enough to make me sick has been a challenge. I'm really lucky though that I have an understanding office-mate. She is even able to recognize it when I have a migraine - even if I'm trying to hide it from folks (I get tired of telling people I have one).
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Re: You don't look ill?!

Post by Looper on Sat Sep 14, 2013 2:07 am

Tee wrote:You don't look ill?
Oh how many times over the years I have heard people say this or whisper it behind my back. Lots of people understand now but still many more do not. They see you having to leave work or school and think it's an excuse. What they don't see is the rest of your life or times when; you've had to stay behind in the hotel room while on vacation, leave a movie half way through, leave a dinner before being finished, walk off a golf course mid round, leave parties and friends weddings early, cancel show or concert plans or again leave before they're finished, or miss kids events all because of migraine. But yeah, I don't look ill. If these people only knew...


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Re: You don't look ill?!

Post by pīwakawaka on Sat Sep 14, 2013 12:35 pm

I'm fortunate (is fortunate the right word here?) in that I usually appear less than healthy with my migraines. So although I obviously don't look well, others often jump to incorrect conclusions about the cause. Slurred speech and staggering often gets misconstrued as either being drunk or under the influence of drugs. The inability to communicate adequately often leads to being treated as a moron. Have you noticed how often people raise their voice when they think they are talking to someone of less intelligence? Of course their loud volume only make my ability to comprehend what they are saying even less. And then there are the times others have thought I'm having a stroke....

Friends and family do understand the symptoms are migraine related, although they don't really comprehend how one's senses get overloaded during an attack. But If the symptoms are less severe, I think they get frustrated when I don't behave as I "normally" would.

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